{"id":2371418,"date":"2015-12-03T09:28:10","date_gmt":"2015-12-03T15:28:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/clearwaterpress.com\/oneyearnovel\/?p=2371418"},"modified":"2019-10-05T13:46:31","modified_gmt":"2019-10-05T18:46:31","slug":"avoiding-the-comparison-trap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/clearwaterpress.com\/oneyearnovel\/blog\/avoiding-the-comparison-trap\/","title":{"rendered":"Avoiding the Comparison Trap"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Caitlyn Meissner, Guest Contributor<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m a writer, and a comparison addict. Maybe you\u2019re one, too. You tried to write a novel for fun,\u00a0only to have it turn into a competition. You began caring more about grades and applause than\u00a0about your characters and story world. You started looking around at other writers and\u00a0wondering why you never measured up<\/strong>. I know. My own addiction grew so strong that it crippled\u00a0me. I stopped writing stories altogether.<\/p>\n

Until recently. Because, today, I\u2019m a former addict. Yes, I still struggle. But I found new freedom\u00a0when I discovered some important truths about comparison.<\/p>\n

Comparison Kills Creativity<\/h3>\n

Comparisons accumulate. They slip easily off the tongue. \u201cWhy are his descriptions better than\u00a0mine? How come her characters are so much more interesting? Why does my novel never\u00a0sound as good on paper as it does in my head?\u201d<\/p>\n

At first, I thought comparisons would help me.<\/strong> I expected to learn from other people\u2019s\u00a0successes, adapt, and grow stronger.<\/p>\n

Instead, comparison destroyed my creativity<\/strong>. The story concepts that once excited me seemed\u00a0suddenly tarnished and stale. As I rejected one story goal and plot twist after another, my\u00a0stream of ideas dried up.<\/p>\n

And as they did, my insecurity increased. Whatever I wrote seemed lifeless, flat, boring. I hated\u00a0my stories. I hated writing.<\/p>\n

But things changed the day I stopped focusing on other writers. They changed when I started\u00a0asking myself, \u201cWhat do I like to write? How do I like to write? I used to be passionate about my\u00a0stories. Am I still passionate about anything? What is it that brings me joy?\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when I discovered that writing isn\u2019t about performance. It\u2019s about being … me. And when\u00a0I let go of the comparisons and once again started creating the quirky, humorous characters that\u00a0I love so much, I found I hadn\u2019t lost all of my ideas after all.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Comparison Kills Productivity<\/h3>\n

It\u2019s easy to look at talented authors and deceive yourself into thinking that writing isn\u2019t worth\u00a0your time. You\u2019ll never be as good as they are, so why bother?<\/p>\n

But while I sat around, trapped in a quagmire of comparisons, my friends kept practicing<\/strong>. And\u00a0you know what? Their skill increased, and their stories are much stronger now than they used to be.<\/p>\n

Here are two steps to keep comparisons from ruining your productivity. First, guard your eyes<\/strong>.\u00a0Keep your focus on your own writing, where it belongs. Second, stop desiring the talent other\u00a0writers have<\/strong>. That\u2019s called coveting. God gave us all different talents and abilities, and He wants\u00a0us to use them, not squander them.<\/p>\n

So don\u2019t stop writing, even when it sounds awful. Remember, artists only fashion masterpieces\u00a0because they once cared enough to gather a lump of clay, or mix a blob of paint, or chisel out a\u00a0rough block of marble.<\/p>\n

Comparison Kills Friendships<\/h3>\n

No one enjoys having a friend who\u2019s always looking at you and judging you.<\/p>\n

For most of my life, I was that kind of friend. My addiction to comparison kept me from enjoying\u00a0people for who they were. I would measure myself against them, discerning strengths and\u00a0weaknesses on the basis of my own warped perspective. Instead of rejoicing when a friend\u00a0succeeded, I\u2019d dislike them for it. Instead of strengthening their weak places, I enjoyed when\u00a0they embarrassed themselves. I wasted so much time trying to be better than other people\u00a0because I couldn\u2019t bear to let anyone see how weak I really was.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In a true friendship, comparison isn\u2019t an issue. I\u2019ve known writers who’ve spent hours critiquing a\u00a0friend\u2019s story when they could have been working on their own. I\u2019ve seen writers come together\u00a0and brainstorm for a friend who\u2019s run out of ideas. And every winning novelist can testify to\u00a0having a group of friends who encouraged them, no matter what.<\/p>\n

When we consider others as more important than ourselves (Philippians 2:3), we destroy the\u00a0hold that comparison has on our friendships.<\/p>\n

And when you decide to partner with another writer, you may discover what many others have\u2014\u00a0true, sacrificial friendship makes your own writing stronger, not weaker.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Love Kills Comparison<\/h3>\n

When I finally realized what my addiction to comparison was doing to my life, I tried everything I\u00a0could to free myself.<\/p>\n

Only … it didn\u2019t work. Not really. I mean, I made some progress, but what do you do with an\u00a0addiction so ingrained into your thought life that you\u2019re knee-deep in comparisons before you\u00a0even realize it?<\/p>\n

In desperation, I came before the Lord and repented. I asked if He would free me.<\/p>\n

His reply? \u201cI love you.\u201d<\/p>\n

And … it\u2019s true. He loves me for who I am.<\/strong> He loves me the way I am. It\u2019s not about works. It\u2019s\u00a0all about grace. He doesn\u2019t compare my strengths and weaknesses. He sees the whole me, and\u00a0is satisfied.<\/p>\n

The Lord gave me a promise that day: \u201cWhat he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no\u00a0one can open\u201d (Revelation 3:7 NIV). And I believe that He, in His mercy, shut whatever door in\u00a0my heart and mind that I had opened to comparisons.<\/p>\n

I still struggle, but it\u2019s not the same. I don\u2019t get knee-deep without noticing.<\/strong> Just ankle-deep. It\u2019s\u00a0easier to pull myself out.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve found new joy in writing, and in life. I love my characters again. I want to learn and grow.\u00a0And I\u2019ve been blessed with a few good friends who encourage me.<\/p>\n

Yes, I still make mistakes, but I\u2019ve found healing. His love heals. It can heal you, too, if you let it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

Have you ever struggled with comparing yourself to others? What has helped you to stop?<\/em><\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

About Caitlyn<\/strong><\/p>\n

Caitlyn never knew what she wanted to be when she grew up. Her life goal was simply to follow\u00a0God. And now she can testify that He is a good leader, a Father, and a friend. Caitlyn is\u00a0passionate about stories, teaching, prayer, and finding hidden meaning in everything. After a\u00a0year full of travel and adventure and learning to live out of a backpack, she\u2019s excited to be\u00a0leaving for her first mission trip in January.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Caitlyn Meissner, Guest Contributor:<\/strong>
\nI\u2019m a writer, and a comparison addict. Maybe you\u2019re one, too. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11882,"featured_media":2371430,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15919,45,11],"tags":[16004,16005,16006,16003,14],"post_series":[],"class_list":["post-2371418","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-guest-posts","category-stuck-discouraged","category-writing","tag-avoiding-comparison","tag-comparison","tag-confidence-in-writing","tag-fighting-discouragement","tag-writing","entry","has-media"],"yoast_head":"\nAvoiding the Comparison Trap -<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/clearwaterpress.com\/oneyearnovel\/blog\/avoiding-the-comparison-trap\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Avoiding the Comparison Trap\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Caitlyn Meissner, Guest Contributor: I\u2019m a writer, and a comparison addict. 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