{"id":2371386,"date":"2015-11-18T15:06:41","date_gmt":"2015-11-18T21:06:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/clearwaterpress.com\/oneyearnovel\/?p=2371386"},"modified":"2019-10-15T11:01:23","modified_gmt":"2019-10-15T16:01:23","slug":"framing-your-writers-future","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/clearwaterpress.com\/oneyearnovel\/blog\/framing-your-writers-future\/","title":{"rendered":"Framing Your Writer’s Future"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Tineke Bryson, Staff Writer<\/strong><\/p>\n

NOTE: If you attended the 2015 Summer Workshop<\/a> as a parent, you may remember\u00a0some of these ideas from\u00a0Tineke’s\u00a0parent session.<\/em><\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

Oh, the Cringe Questions! We\u2019re asked them at every stage of life, but they fall thick\u00a0and fast when you\u2019re a teen writer<\/strong>\u2014or their parent! Tell me these aren\u2019t familiar:<\/p>\n

CRINGE LIST FOR TEEN WRITER<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2022 Are you going to study Writing\/English in college or something more\u00a0practical?
\n\u2022 What\u2019s your plan?
\n\u2022 Do you think you can get published?
\n\u2022 How are you going to make a living?
\n\u2022 But what about [marriage\/parenthood\/other-skill-you-have\/insert other\u00a0goal]?
\n\u2022 Do you know how much that will cost?!!<\/p>\n

CRINGE LIST FOR PARENT OF TEEN WRITER<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2022 What is she going to do after high school?
\n\u2022 How are you going to pay for that?
\n\u2022 Will that really help?
\n\u2022 Isn\u2019t there a cheap (read: free) way for him to get published?
\n\u2022 Is she any good, really? Can she do it?<\/p>\n

I am well beyond my college degree in Writing now, and I don\u2019t know who has it\u00a0worse, but I sometimes think it\u2019s the parent. People try to be encouraging to teens\u00a0(You have a bright future ahead of you<\/em>, etc.) even if they have doubts. People are less\u00a0considerate of adult feelings.<\/p>\n

As a parent, you field these well-meaning but bewildering questions from relatives\u00a0and friends. They make you anxious, defensive. All the while, you ache for your son\u00a0or daughter as they wrestle with their own questions, and there\u2019s no way for you to\u00a0hand them the answers<\/strong>. A glimpse into a teen writer\u2019s head is dizzying:<\/p>\n

Should I go to college, or train as a writer some other way? If I worked hard\u00a0enough, could I succeed without expensive training? Should I study English?\u00a0If I study something else, will it limit what I go on to do as a writer? Would I\u00a0have time to write if I went after something else? Will I (should I?) \u201cgrow out\u201d\u00a0of my writing dreams? Am I any good at writing?<\/em> How do I find out, and could\u00a0I bear the truth?<\/p>\n

Half the time when your daughter accuses you of treading on her dreams with the\u00a0muddy boots of pragmatism, you were only asking the hard questions about money\u00a0and career plans because somebody asked you<\/strong>, and you hope maybe your kid will\u00a0make you feel better. It\u2019s terrible to be the parent of a writer sometimes.<\/p>\n

But you know all this. Here\u2019s why I\u2019m writing this post: I have two questions of my own.<\/p>\n

Why<\/em> do these questions trouble us?<\/p>\n

Should<\/em> we be anxious about these questions?<\/p>\n

Picking a Frame<\/h3>\n

The questions we dwell on form the frame through which we peer at our life<\/strong>. If we\u00a0let them, the Cringe Questions dominate our view. I would like to suggest that one\u00a0reason why the Cringe Questions leave us\u2014writer or parent\u2014anxious and\u00a0frustrated is that they are the wrong questions to dwell on<\/strong>. They may be valid\u00a0questions, but they don\u2019t make a strong frame for decision-making.<\/p>\n

My best try at the right question for a frame is this: Who is my writer becoming?<\/strong> (Or,\u00a0if you\u2019re reading this as a young writer: Who am I becoming?)<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the truth: a good book (or movie script or short story\u2026) is the product of a\u00a0life lived fully, not the result of finding and following a formula.<\/p>\n

I know. I work for The One Year Adventure Novel<\/em>, which is all about teaching\u00a0students that stories have a structure and there are tried-and-true techniques for\u00a0telling a compelling story. None of that changes the fact that passionate, curious,\u00a0honest living is critical for a story idea to become something more than a cool\u00a0concept<\/strong>. Great stories have heart. They are not only well-written and effectively\u00a0structured, but reflect true emotion. When it comes to writing, a life lived fully is\u00a0more important than what you study in college.<\/p>\n

Be mom or dad first.<\/strong> Your goal for your young writer is that he or she be a well-\u00a0rounded person of character\u2014the kind of person who, incidentally, has a life that\u00a0yields powerful stories.<\/p>\n

Becoming a writer is about the person your daughter becomes, not about the\u00a0royalties she could earn or the book agents she could impress. You know this. You\u2019re\u00a0right that this is what matters<\/strong>. You\u2019re not na\u00efve about your daughter\u2019s future. You\u2019re\u00a0not too soft on your son\u2019s big dreams.<\/p>\n

This is one major reason why the solicitous questions your friends and family ask\u00a0you bother you so much: because no one is asking the right question<\/strong>: \u201cWho is your\u00a0son\/daughter becoming?\u201d<\/p>\n

And this is also true for you if you\u2019re the young\u2014or not so young\u2014writer: The\u00a0questions trouble you because they\u2019re based on a misunderstanding about what\u00a0matters most to you. They miss the mark.<\/p>\n

The ability to write is not a means to an end<\/a><\/strong>. It\u2019s a gift to the writer, from God, to\u00a0connect with Him. It\u2019s a worship-opening. An opportunity for meaningful\u00a0engagement with life\u2019s hardest and most rewarding questions.\u00a0The gift might make your daughter money. It may make her friends in high places. It\u00a0may make your son famous, or provide him a way to make a living while traveling,\u00a0etc., etc., but that\u2019s not why your student has the gift\u2014or the dreams of using it.<\/p>\n

Next time a friend says, \u201cHas Amanda made any progress toward choosing a major?\u201d\u00a0or \u201cHas Josh come up with a better job idea yet?\u201d give yourself permission to step\u00a0back and acknowledge the feelings of frustration. Because you are frustrated for a\u00a0reason. And as you mumble something about how busy your student has been lately,\u00a0reach for your better, stronger frame<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

And when you watch your daughter stumble over her words or try to escape the\u00a0room when her aunt or uncle ask her what her plans are, find a way to let her know\u00a0you look at her through a different frame<\/strong>: the \u201cWho-are-you-becoming?\u201d frame.<\/p>\n

At One Year Adventure Novel<\/em>, we\u2019re with you on this. Let\u2019s help them continue to love words, love\u00a0character change, love learning, and keep asking \u201cWhat if?\u201d Let\u2019s tell them we\u2019re on\u00a0the side of who they are intended to become<\/strong>, not what they might go on to do.<\/p>\n

Creativity will result.<\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

What “frames” have helped you think about your student’s\u2014or your own\u2014future?<\/em><\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

\"\"About Tineke<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tineke Bryson (Honors in Writing, Houghton College) lives in the very center of a pretty complicated Venn diagram, right where fiction and nonfiction, creating and editing, and North American, European, and West African culture meet. Tineke grew up abroad, and before joining The One Year Adventure Novel<\/em>, she worked as an editor.<\/p>\n

She and her husband, Matthias, live in Lawrence, Kansas. She loves British history, reading YA fantasy, and collecting moths.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tineke Bryson, Staff Writer<\/strong>
\nAs a parent, you field these well-meaning but bewildering questions from relatives and friends. They make you anxious, defensive. All the while, you ache for your son or daughter as they wrestle with their own questions, and there\u2019s no way for you to hand them the answers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11881,"featured_media":2371388,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[93,45,11],"tags":[15997,15999,15998,15994,16000],"post_series":[],"class_list":["post-2371386","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting-a-young-writer","category-stuck-discouraged","category-writing","tag-a-writers-future","tag-big-questions","tag-facing-discouragement","tag-parenting-a-writer","tag-planning-for-the-future","entry","has-media"],"yoast_head":"\nFraming Your Writer's Future -<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/clearwaterpress.com\/oneyearnovel\/blog\/framing-your-writers-future\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Framing Your Writer's Future\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Tineke Bryson, Staff Writer As a parent, you field these well-meaning but bewildering questions from relatives and friends. 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